Voter is Stuck in the Middle With…Who?

Bob HopeI love to go to Washington.  If only to be near my money. 

(Bob Hope)

Our family debates are more introspective than lively, more on her end than mine.  Maybe I’m just cynical.  But discussing the upcoming Presidential election with my voting age college daughter isn’t boring.  She leans further left than me, with her youthful, trusting, and idealistic viewpoint, but considering our choices I don’t want to vote for either candidate. The billionaire braggart, born more than halfway between third base and home plate, offends me.   I’m never impressed with people who are impressed with themselves.  Continue reading “Voter is Stuck in the Middle With…Who?” »

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Bucket List Trips With Parents Were Worth It

Galapagos Islands tortoisesNote: We’re in the season of Mother’s and Father’s Days.  This story appeared in several newspapers and magazines.  I wanted to share it again.  Dedicated to parents.

I don’t remember my parents pursuing fun.  They worked too hard.  Nor did they understand the concept of a bucket list.  The buckets we used carried paint.  Continue reading “Bucket List Trips With Parents Were Worth It” »

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Playoffs Are All That Matter

Eric characture cropped colorHockey Player Magazine, May 2016

It’s only an eight game schedule but my body thinks otherwise—the season feels like 80 games.  My legs burn with each stride while my lungs gasp for more air than a carburetor.  But we’re in the playoffs and complaining is for sissies.  Everybody’s whipped, even our rivals, and it’s time to separate the wheat from the chaff.  Lose two games and we’re out until September.  No one wants to hang up their skates in early May.

My Blazers entered the playoffs in the middle of the pack and I’m the middle-aged guy in our pack chasing players ten to thirty years younger.  I’m a forechecker and harass opponents trying to break out of their zone.   I chase, because with higher mileage and less horsepower, I’m easily caught by the younger bucks.  Continue reading “Playoffs Are All That Matter” »

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Paradise Chocolate Fest Benefits the Kids

2016 Fest PC 2“All you need is love.  But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”  Charles M. Shulz

“I owe it all to little chocolate donuts.” John Belushi

It’s time for hype, chocolate hype.  And it’s okay to indulge.

Experience a chocolate paradise on the Paradise/Magalia ridge nestled among tall green pines in the Sierra Nevada Mountain foothills, where we strike the perfect balance between a historical Gold Country past and the comforts of modern living.   Join a community with a big heart and love of chocolate for the 11th annual Paradise Chocolate Fest benefiting non-profit youth organizations on the Paradise Ridge. Continue reading “Paradise Chocolate Fest Benefits the Kids” »

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Millennial Daughter to Vote Absentee

election ballot infoLike religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public.  It’s too controversial.”

Erma Bombeck

My oldest daughter, a college freshman, will vote absentee this year–her first election. She leans left of my views where I straddle right on money issues and left of center on social issues. I seldom argue about politics, preferring to discuss cereal selection. For me, incumbents on both sides of the aisle are fair game to vote out (my version of term limits). Continue reading “Millennial Daughter to Vote Absentee” »

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Hockey Mom Earns Frequent Flyer Miles

Eric characture cropped color

Hockey Player Magazine, Feb 2016

(Note: Names below were changed.)

We boarded the jet two hours late, me and 350 others.  No explanation was given other than lousy weather in Europe.  My original seat selection was along the back row aisle near the lavatory.  I’m one who plans ahead— the ten hour flight from Oakland to Stockholm would test my prostate, larger than a hockey puck, to the max.  Two minutes in the penalty box is rough enough.  No pre-flight drinks for me. Continue reading “Hockey Mom Earns Frequent Flyer Miles” »

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Humorist P.J. O’Rourke Pokes at Politicos

etcguy PJ_O'Rourke“The Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get chickweed out of your lawn…Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then get elected and prove it.”

(P.J. O’Rourke, American satirist)

I loathe politics but couldn’t ignore that quote from P.J. O’Rourke, especially with the current national election riff-raff.  Good grief.

Patrick Jake ”P. J.” O’Rourke (born 1947) is an American political satirist, journalist, and humorist.   A correspondent for The Atlantic MonthlyThe American Spectator, and The Weekly Standard, O’Rourke has also written columns for The Daily Beast and performed on National Public Radio.

Another guy I’d like to meet as part of my ongoing Humor Project…maybe…someday. What a crack-up.

Until then, feel free to visit the Etc.Guy Facebook page.  See you in print.

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Post-Christmas Do-It-Yourself Project Stymies Consumer Laggard

diffusion curve laggard(Central Valley Business Times, December 2015)

Laggards, in marketing lingo, are consumers that ride the tail end of the Diffusion Curve.  Whether it’s computers, TV sets or toasters, I am not an early adopter.  I lag.  Every Christmas season (which starts after Halloween), I wrestle with more consumer purchase decision making than the rest of the year.  The bustling crowds, blaring holiday music, and banners promoting BOGO’s, only adds to my befuddlement.

In comparison, my wife and daughters shop with the endurance of Olympic athletes.

Continue reading “Post-Christmas Do-It-Yourself Project Stymies Consumer Laggard” »

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December is the Season for Puck Drops

Eric characture cropped color(Hockey Player Magazine, December 2015)

December is the season for leaf fall, snow fall, and puck drops.

My hockey buddies grin when frosty windshields mask the morning commute, especially the guys from Minnesota or Canada where vegetables come in casseroles and nuts come from cans. Continue reading “December is the Season for Puck Drops” »

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Time Swooshes into Another Holiday Season

etcguy dr suess How did it get late so soon?  It’s night before its afternoon.  December is here before its June.  My goodness how the time has flewn.  How did it get late so soon?

Dr. Suess (1904 – 1991)

It seems just a week ago my kids filled plastic pumpkins full of Halloween candy.  And only eight minutes ago we gobbled the last of Thanksgiving turkey.  Now, we’re onto the Christmas holiday home-stretch.

nike swooshTime swooshes by but it’s not because of Nike. Between October 31 and December 25, time either speeds up or gets sucked away. Where it goes, nobody knows.

How did it get late so soon?

PS  For “late” or last minute Christmas shoppers I’m compiling a list of great books to consider.  Coming soon…certainly before June.  Be sure to join the Etc.Guy Facebook page too.

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