Young Referee Whistles While He Works

(Hockey Player Magazine, April 2017)

“You can’t applaud a referee.” Alex Ferguson, Coach, Manchester United

They are jeered, never cheered.  It’s black and white.

Great referees are invisible to the general fan but invincible to the general jerk.  Officiating is not for the faint hearted.  Hockey refs need thick skin—crocodile skin–beneath the stripes. Continue reading “Young Referee Whistles While He Works” »

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Paradise Author’s Night (and Casual Conversations)

Hey folks…coming soon…join me and my friends as we celebrate An Evening with the Authors at Paradise Library on Thursday evening April 13, 2017.  We’ll hold workshops, discuss our craft, and have casual conversations.  It’s a great opportunity for readers to meet with writers and vice versa.  Sponsored by the Paradise Friends of the Library, the event will be held from 6 PM to 9 PM at the Butte County Library-Paradise Branch, 5922 Clark Road.  No charge.  We’ll bring books to sell too.  If Thursday is a slow TV night for you come out and visit.

Until then here are a few casual conversations from the Etc. Guy Facebook page.  You can follow me by LIKING it.  See you in print. Continue reading “Paradise Author’s Night (and Casual Conversations)” »

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Erma Bombeck-Never Serious

Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously.  It’s literary suicide.

Erma Bomeck, American humorist, writer and columnist (1927-1996)

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‘Tis Always the Season to Read…and Laugh

Etc Guy book frontA lousy marketer I am.  If I was smarter, and I wish I was, I’d have written this post last month as a shameless ploy to sell my book Let Me Tell You a Story.  Oh, I’ll still plug the book [BUY MY BOOK] but let’s be realistic.  Earth is full of funny story tellers whether you’re with friends gathered around a campfire or chatting next to a stranger in coach.  For your amusement I’ve listed several of my favorite writers [BUY MY BOOK] who I’ve listed alphabetically by height.  I’m sure they’ll still be funny in 2017. Continue reading “‘Tis Always the Season to Read…and Laugh” »

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The Dork

Eric characture cropped color(Hockey Player Magazine, December 2016)

Every team has one.  Whether its baseball, basketball or badminton, there’s always that one guy who doesn’t quite enmesh locker room society.  Maybe it’s his or her lousy jokes, bad breath, or that they wear turtlenecks year round.  For me it was Marvin Smellmoore’s nose.  The average length of an adult nose is about 5.8 centimeters, two-thirds the diameter of a hockey puck.  Marv’s beak, shy of 8 centimeters, poked outside his helmet’s cage.    Migrant birds eyed Marv’s nose as a potential perch. Continue reading “The Dork” »

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Why Dave Barry Doesn’t Write About Religion

Dave Barry Etc GuyThe problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.  Dave Barry

Just experimenting here with this post but as you can tell I’m a huge Dave Barry fan.  For more on Dave Barry and my quest to find humor writers see my Humor Project story, published in August 2013.  Currently penning two stories…feel free to visit the Etc.Guy Facebook page in the meantime.  Over and out.  For now.

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Butte Trivia Bee for Literacy Cranks, and Cracks, Up

big-roomA new world ranking of countries and their literacy rates puts the United States at 7th. Who’s No. 1? Finland.”  Source: The Washington Post, March 8, 2016

Now there’s a bit of trivia I didn’t know.  And it was published by a renowned newspaper for others to read so it must be true, or at least is mostly accurate.  At minimum it makes one ponder.  Fortunately the USA is in the top ten but we can do better.  Think about it.  Without the printed word we’d have nothing but space, blank space.  All you’d see is a bunch of black ink, dots, and squiggly lines.  Continue reading “Butte Trivia Bee for Literacy Cranks, and Cracks, Up” »

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Coldplay Tops Family’s Bucket List

coldplay-a-head-full-of-dreams-tourKate introduced me to them.  Our SUV, loaded with ski gear, skidded over a snowy highway.  We caught glimpses of powder covered peaks between wind blasts.  I didn’t mind the weather—I enjoy winter driving so long as crazy people don’t hit me.  Kate inserted a CD and I daydreamed.  The music calmed me into a Zen-like trance, the keyboards, guitar and bass pulsing at each mile post.

“Who is this group?”

Coldplay,” Kate said.  “They’re British.” Continue reading “Coldplay Tops Family’s Bucket List” »

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Coming up…2016 Butte County Trivia Bee

eric-etcguy-w-poster1_160923So thrilled to support the 10th Annual Butte County Trivia Bee on Friday October 28, 2016. The event will be held in the Sierra Nevada Brewery “Big Room” (Chico, California). All proceeds support Adult Literacy Programming. Last year I co-emceed the event which had a turnout of nearly 400. Great fun. I’ll co-emcee again this year. Though I wear size 8 shoes and have a size 13 mouth, I think I can behave myself…..More info to come.

See more updates at the Etc.Guy Facebook page.

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Everybody Has Their Guy (or Man)

Dave Barry Etc GuyIn the dictionary there are words for everythingDave Barry

Every person has their guy.

The three of us loitered outside the concert hall killing time.  Jane and Peg, music moms, stood with arms crossed and discussed car problems.  Jane gushed about her guy as I walked up.

“He’s the best,” Jane said, her eyes beaming like sun rays.  “My Volvo has 450,000 miles.  My guy fixes brakes, radiators, rebuilds engines…sigh…he even folds shop towels.”  Jane’s eyes glistened and I saw my reflection.   She clasped her hands, “Ooooh, there’s no one like him.” Continue reading “Everybody Has Their Guy (or Man)” »

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